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Post by victoriousscarf on Feb 9, 2012 17:57:18 GMT -8
... I'm not sure I would want a character comparable to the Joker. Issue with the Joker is running into the black/white stuff, unless he's done very, very carefully. There's like... 3-4 authors I truly trust with the Joker in Batman stories. But yeah, some rework would be nice to get a bit more rounding.
Well, chop things off, just focus down on the main points that's needed. It teaches you better which points are going to be the most relevant as well as making you really think about what's needed for him. Not to mention making it more readable and maybe more focused.
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Post by Tsughi on Feb 9, 2012 18:05:39 GMT -8
Went through his history and shortened it a little, I can take off more if you need me too.
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Post by Meadowlark on Feb 10, 2012 23:34:00 GMT -8
I have got to ask: how can gelled hair be soft?
Now, onto the bulk of the app:
I'm not sure how this is possible, as leaving those things to taunt him means leaving evidence that could trace back to him....doesn't it?
I know that VS already expressed this, but I'm going to reiterate it. Welkram still feels too "black" and Harquill still feels too "White". If you're going to stick with this disorder then they have to function well enough as seperately, rounded, characters within themselves as well. They can't really be halves of a whole so much as two people in one body. At least from what I've been seeing. I'm still a little sketchy on this disorder since it's so widely debated, some sources (many in fact) dealing with the fact that memories can be implied and implanted. One way you might be able to see about making them both well rounded is to actually separate them into two apps and then combine the applications into one.
With Welkram having come into being on the battlefields of WWI I could certainly see him having a striking sense of loyalty to those he sees as possible comrades in arms, some sort of redeeming quality even if it isn't his main one. Another thing that might rise otu of that is a possibility of a homosexual slant to his desire, but that's just a possibility if you would rather he remain asexual. Harquill has a vice or three, surely, see if you can figure out what they are to see about rounding out the character(s).
This history's doing better, but I'm still seeing no real flaw in Harquill. It also feels a bit long still, but...*shrugs*
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Post by Tsughi on Feb 11, 2012 8:12:31 GMT -8
For both the hair and that evidence thing, I think I was doing one thing, came back, and wrote something else. I happen to do that.... A lot... It's one of my many flaws. Just slap me upside the head when you see it and tell me to fix it.
That is an excellent idea! I'm trying hard to making Harquill a bit more grey, but he's the DA so he can't be too bad a person or he wouldn't get elected. For Welkram, he's stubbornly refusing to let me flesh him out. I'm going to need to work on him a lot more.
Let me seperate them and work on their memories, personalities, and etc
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Post by Tsughi on Feb 12, 2012 12:05:28 GMT -8
Okay, went through and highlighted all the changes I made. Let me know what you guys think!
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Post by Meadowlark on Feb 13, 2012 20:24:39 GMT -8
Thank you so much for being flexible. It's paid off.
He's Approved!
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Post by Tsughi on Feb 14, 2012 3:40:50 GMT -8
Woo! Thanks!
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