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Post by qualapec on May 19, 2011 22:50:05 GMT -8
"My mind is shredding, and we both know it," Brachen said as he tilted his head into Mac's paw. His voice started breaking. "I don't want anycat else to decide on what terms I die, and the farther away I slip, the more likely that is..." he was terrified, but he needed to do this. "And the less I remember the things that used to mean the world to me, used to make me who I was. I don't think I can live with the thought of someday not feeling what I feel. It's my life. It was damned messed and torn but it was mine and I need you to do this for me."
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Post by victoriousscarf on May 19, 2011 22:53:36 GMT -8
Macavity swallowed hard, his paw starting to rub soft circles around Brachen's cheek. "You're askin' me ta kill somecat I love, Brachen."
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Post by qualapec on May 19, 2011 22:59:05 GMT -8
Brachen's heart jumped at Mac's words, that he loved him back. "I know it's a lot to ask," Brachen wasn't sure, but he thought he was crying, "but I'm going out one way or another. If I have to choose between slowly losing my mind and you than...I choose you."
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Post by victoriousscarf on May 19, 2011 23:02:59 GMT -8
Macavity let out a hurt breath, bringing his forehead to rest against Brachen's. "Do you realize what you're askin' of me? Brachen, do you?"
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Post by qualapec on May 19, 2011 23:05:46 GMT -8
"I do," Brachen said, his voice cracking again. "And I realize I'm walking someplace dark and cold with these words. I'm scared, Mac, but the alternative scares me more."
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Post by victoriousscarf on May 19, 2011 23:09:30 GMT -8
Macavity sucked in a breath, paws still on either side of Brachen's cheeks and he finally nodded, foreheads still together. "A-alright," he said, voice breaking again.
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Post by qualapec on May 19, 2011 23:17:10 GMT -8
Relief and ice flooded through Brachen all at once. The words, the finality from somecat he loved was what really drove it home; he was really going to die this time. "Thank you," he gasped. He sat there for a moment, loving the feel of Mac on his fur, and it reminded him of better days. It reminded him of laughter and waking up in the same bed and soft bite marks and painting the town red at night. Every moment came up and through him, coalesced into something tangible and warm and comforting, a memory of what he once was. "You and I, Mac," he smiled, and he was what he once was, "we could'a had the world, if you were a little more crazy or I was a little more sane."
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Post by victoriousscarf on May 19, 2011 23:28:18 GMT -8
Macavity leaned down to kiss the smaller tom gently, half aware he might have been crying but ignoring it. "I love you Brachen," he murmured softly, smoothing back his headfur with one paw, the other reaching back and reappearing with his straight razor. He half thought it would have been shaking, but it wasn't.
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Post by qualapec on May 19, 2011 23:33:36 GMT -8
"I love you, too," he smiled weakly, "but you knew that, yeah?" Brachen swallowed, and he felt the knot of tissue around his neck tighten with the motion. He stared into Mac's eyes as his last survival urges came and went, molten and hot, like fire.
There was no noise.
All he could hear was the sound of the rain pattering against the shell of the car.
[[THREAD END]]
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